A very happy early birthday to you! And many many happy returns ahead!!!

Loved the way how you put self-ishness here, my best angle to look at the help yourself first dilemma is flying in an airplane! Why? You may have seen before if and when the oxygen masks are released, you got to help yourself first before you can help others!

Similar to this, in real life you got to ensure your oxygen flow and energy levels are taken care of first before you should go out to drain yourself helping others as it might not last and even drain you.

Thanks for sharing your life story, got to know you much better by reading your story. I understand life must not have been easy for you at many junctures... it's great you figured how to be "self-ish" first and then still help others!

I'm trying the same approach as well.

Cheers and happy BIG birthday again!!!